Never trust a Yevin.

September 1, 2009

This evening I was heading towards Silvermoon Inn to meet this tasty little boy toy who I happened upon at a club the night before. We were to meet in one of the many lounge areas available on the top floor. But when I climb the stairs, who do I see? The gang of friends that I had most recently made in Dalaran! You know, Dor, Kel, Kar, and Hamms. They were all sitting in one of the lounge areas, chit chatting about their lives. They called to me from their seats asking for me to join them in their little alcove. I told them I had plans, but they simply wouldn’t take no for an answer!

Now, I know it’s not nice to make plans with a guy and then ditch him… but I’d much rather spend my evening with friends than some random. Whose name is Yevin, anyways? One can never trust a Yevin.

I took a seat with the gang and well started chatting right away. Dor seemed happy to see me, which caught me off guard because she didn’t seem all that fond of me before. I’m glad to see that she’s started warming up to my character. Of course, why wouldn’t she? Her and Kel looked extra cuddly that evening. I mentioned that the two of them were a cute match which only made poor Hams upset that her boyfriend… I can’t quite remember his name…. was missing. Kat had volunteered to help Hams look for her lost man, and after a few minute of Hams moping, the two went off to do just that; I assume. With the two ladies taking their leave, it was just Kel, Dor, and myself in the cozy little Inn.

There was a slight silence, so I decided to ask the two about their relationship. It’s hard coming in to a group of friends who already know many things about each other! They talk about all sorts of things, and I just can’t seem to follow. I asked if they were planning to have any children. Dor said she wasn’t quite ready for children, and Kel remained silent as he always does. I’ve heard of men who’re whipped, but seriously? That guy doesn’t say a word unless Dor allows him too! At this point the conversation wasn’t really going anywhere, and I can tell that the two love birds wanted to be alone. I mentioned that I really should be attending that date, and excused myself politely.

I walked around the Inn looking for Yevin, but he was nowhere to be found. I knew that trusting him would have been a foul move. My instincts are dead on. I’m fantastic at reading people. I walked outside the Inn towards the Auction House, because I still hadn’t found a stiletto for that dear shaman to summon the fashion spirits with, when I saw this lovely little blood elf sitting on the grass, playing with her cat. She looked somewhat troubled, so out of the kindness of my heart, I lent her an ear.

While this could be considered a mistake by some, I decided that it was my ‘good dead for the day’. The women would not shut up! She just kept talking and talking and talking about some problem with…. I can’t even remember! The story was so convoluted. She asked me what I had been doing in the evening, and I tried to explain it was just a casual night with a few friends; but even that she didn’t seem to follow. She kept on getting confused by parts of my story.

Eventually I just gave up and wished her well… with whatever her problem was. I made my way to the Auction House to try and find that stiletto. Luckily I managed to find such an item! I’m quite excited to find that shaman and ask him to speak to the fashion spirits for me! Maybe the fashion will be purple. Light knows purple hasn’t been in for some time.

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Red? Orange? Yellow? Stilleto?

August 25, 2009

I had recently heard of this random gathering of adventurers around a campfire in the barrens on the first day of the new week. I decided to check it out for myself. When I first arrived this ‘event’ was pretty much dead. I don’t simply mean that there were an excess of undead individuals there (all though that is also true). There wasn’t much excitement to be had at this bland campfire. That is, until I saw this cute little timid thing sitting all by his lonesome. Keirris to the rescue! Well, Keirris to the cute boys!

He was wearing a green shirt with brown overalls, and gray pants. For some reason, the guy had goggles fastened tightly to his head. I mean, he looked like he had walked right out of the lab. Now normally this wouldn’t have caught my attention, but what else was there to do at this dull campfire but drool over this cute boy? So I walked on over and introduced myself. I was pretty sure that I had seen him before, and stated the last place I had been with an excess of adventurers.

Luckily, he had been one of the few people that I had journeyed with within the last few weeks. With that in I was able to start making my move. He said his name was Fen, and insisted I take a seat beside him. Doing so I relaxed and started pulling out all my trick on this shy boy. Making eyes at him, winking, I think I even blew the guy a kiss – and NOTHING. Then he mentioned that he was in to mechanics – you know, big strong men. I decided that was my chance to really pull out the moves! I told him he looked strong, and groped his bicep.

This must have driven this shy little man crazy, because he seemed to be overcome with embarrassment. In fact, I think he was so worked up about me and unable to express his attraction that he just up and left the campfire. Perhaps I aroused him so much he expelled in his pants. I’ve been known to have that effect on some young blood elves who have trouble pacing themselves. With this young ‘Fen’ absent, I was left bored AND boy-less. Those are the worst two things to be ever. I lied. At least I looked good.

A few more adventurers sat down at the circle, including this one very interesting shaman. He claimed he could speak with spirits. Then I thought about a new magazine article possibility. Everyone is always trying to predict the latest fashion trends, right? Well who better to give me a heads up then the freaking’ spirits!  They would know more than anyone, wouldn’t they? I asked if he could assist me. I took his silence as a yes and told him to announce if I was hot or cold while listing colors that the spirit thought were ‘in’ next season. I began right away, listing off all the colors I could think of. Purple, orange, blue, cyan, magenta, silver, gold, black, white, off-white, cream, red, pink, yellow, vermilion, green, olive – and then I was finally interrupted!

Unfortunately, this shaman told me that he didn’t speak to the spirits of ‘fashion’. However, this implied that there were indeed spirits of fashion! I asked if he’d do me a favor and speak to them so I could get a shoe in on my career.  He said he wasn’t aware of any ritual that would call upon any such spirit, but if I were able to bring him something that linked to the fashion spirits he would be more than happy to help me. I wonder if something as simple as a six inch stiletto would bring the fashion spirit forward? That’s the epitome of fashion – is it not?

Towards the end of the campfire everyone began congratulating this pregnant Tauren. She claimed that she wasn’t pregnant, but I know a baby bump when I see one. I spent a year in Orgrimmar designing maternity clothes. I offered to make the pregnant Tauren’s child the best dressed baby she in Azeroth, but she just got angry at me – insisting that she was not pregnant. No one fools ‘ol Keirris though. Something was making that Tauren glow. Maybe it was just the cow’s stench? Light, did she ever smell! I was sitting across the campfire, and I could smell her! I was tempted to promote the newest fragrance for Tauren ladies from Vrogue, bnt didn’t want to be rude. Though it does promise to dispel that musk or your money back!

Inn Fashion

August 25, 2009

What a lovely evening! There are few things more enjoyable than sitting around a tavern with a few friends, drinking your troubles away. Granted, they weren’t necessarily friends at the beginning of the night, we were friends by the end of it! All I had to do was show off my charm, my grace, and my expert knowledge in fashion, and all the ladies were just begging for my opinion on the matter of apparel.

There was this one dame, Dorritow (Dor for short, she insisted), that was absolutely stunning. While she had a fiery anger, I feel I was able to tame her with my many compliments. Sure she wasn’t too fond of being called a fashionista, but she plainly had the most sense out of the entire group when it comes to which colours go with which. She was wearing this absolutely gorgeous plated skirt, and a very tasteful chain shirt. Now Generally I’m not one to mix battle fatigues with fashion, but perhaps this is a look that I can make work. You know, take fashion in arms against the scourge. Fight the good fight.

Anyhow, back on track! While at first she was slightly put off by my many compliments, she eventually began to relax. I submitted many tips on her makeup, and her nail polish. While I’m not too positive we had completely corresponding opinions on the matter of fashion, we were able to settle our dispute like two civilized blood elves.

As the night went on I met even more amazing individuals. There was this one fellow; Keil was his name, who was just the cutest most clueless thing ever when trying to dress himself. One of the other men who was at the bar, Kel (I think it shall be hard to remember the difference between the two), asked for my aid in finding poor Keil a suitable outfit for this ‘ball’ that was coming up within a week or so. Naturally I drew upon all my knowledge as an expert fashion consultant/columnist and arranged the most perfect outfit for his evening. See, his lady friend, Yissy, was wearing this cute little orangey number – and under the consultation of another lovely lady, Kat, I decided to go with the always classic tuxedo; but spice it up with a pop of orange! It was perfect, and I cannot wait to see the two of them at the ball together.

Now let’s back track to the very beginning of the evening! The first of the group that I met that night was this cute little silent type. Her name Ryn, I believe. She did not need my help at all. Right from the get-go, she was a lady who knew what she wanted in her clothing. She was wearing such a great dress when I arrived at the bar, simple yet sophisticated. She’s one of those natural beauties – ya’know? The kind that doesn’t have to wear make-up to look great. Anyhow a few minutes later, Ryn, throws on her outfit to the ball. It’s so risqué that it causes her boyfriend, Alan, to right out feint on the floor. It was quite the event! I was thinking of trying to pull the old CPR trick and stick my tongue down his throat, but Ryn looked like she had been working out recently so I decided it’d be best if I just keep to myself.

The evening ended with me pulling out my handy portable manicure set and beginning work on Kat’s nails. She said that she had got them done the other day, but I don’t believe her. It look as if she used the edge of an axe to file her nails down! And her cuticles? I’ve seen better cuticles on trolls! But no worries! Keirris Suncrown to the nail polish!